5 Years of Sobriety

Wow!!! What can I say? 5 years of being sober!!! When I started this journey, I wasn't sure I could do 5 days let alone years!!!! It's been an absolute game changer. There's not a single aspect of my life that hasn't been enriched by sobriety. But how exactly has it changed me? Well.....

Back when I was drinking, it was all lived for. Even other things I loved such as football, were always centred around the booze. It was all I could think about during the day when I was at work. I'm even ashamed to admit that being a husband and a father to 3 amazing kids, felt like something that got in the way of drinking. It defined me and it guided my life choices. I was trapped and miserable. 

When I realised the booze had a serious hold on me and I needed to change, it terrified the life out me. How could I give this up? What would I do at Christmas or on holiday or celebrating a cup final or, you know, a Tuesday!!! I thought nothing would be the same again. And you know what? It wasn't. It was so much better than I could've ever have imagined. 

The first year was tough. The pandemic right in the middle of that year made it even harder. But I had 6 months sobriety in the tank and by sheer will, I got through that. This time was really complicated by the fact me and my family had to isolate for 2 weeks when my wife was struck down with Covid. 2 weeks trapped in the house, not having to get up for work. In my boozy heyday, I would've thought it was a right result!!! 

This is also when my mental health took a decidedly dark turn for the worse. But I soon learned that by dealing with those issues through the clarity of a sober mind, it was easier to get through it and come out the other side a stronger me! 

When our 2 weeks isolation ended I realised I needed something else in my life other than being indoors or stuck at work. I needed to fill the void left by taking poison out of my life. So I started going for walks. Fresh air and endorphins. The only cocktail we need. 

Soon enough, the walking turned into running. And that has been an absolute huge step for me. I love it more than I ever thought possible. Running and sobriety, for me at least, go hand in hand. They are symbiotic, I couldn't do one without the other. 

At home, I finally feel like a parent. I feel closer to my wife and kids then ever before. I'm settled and clear and in the moment. It was like I was chasing the perfect evening in when I was drinking but now, every night is the perfect evening. A cup of tea and an earlier night. Lovely. Everything I wanted was right there on the other side of the door, I just needed to make that step through the door to wonderful, beautiful sobriety and serenity. 

This blog is not my best work - although it's been great to do one after so long - but it's from the heart and I hope you enjoyed reading it. 

Phil. 5 YEARS SOBER!!!