Don't kick the beer can down the road

Problems. We all have them from time to time. Whether it's a huge life changing event or just the small day to day issues that always seem to be there, we all have our stuff to deal with which can get us down from time to time. Plus with the COVID-19 situation effecting every inch of life - from employment/finacial problems to the never ending challenge of home schooling - it would be so easy to fall into the traps that are lurking round seemingly every corner. It's how we deal with lifes problems that define us and there many ways in which to do just that. But one thing that definetely will not help? Well, we all know the answer to that one don't we? Alcohol will not make those situations better. FACT.  

As I've mentioned before, in my experience drinking just stunted my emotional growth. Feeings - whether they be postive or negative ones - need to be felt. It's how we grow as people and they are a huge part of life. I thought I'd dealt with the death of my Dad but, when I stopped drinking all those feelings were still there and they csame flooding to the surface resulting in me becoming very depressed. I still take anti-depressants now but I know that the strength comes from inside me. It does not, and has never, come from the bottle of beer. 

What does alcohol actually want from us? It wants us to suffer and struggle so we turn to this "friend". But alcohol is not your friend. It is not my friend. It is not anyones friend. Imagine if it took physical form and you could have a conversation with it. What would that be like? How would that go? 

SMALL PLAY: "PRETEND BEST FRIEND (I'M ALL THAT YOU'VE GOT)"

Alcohol "Hey man, how you doing now? I heard you've had a tough time recently?"

Me "Oh, Hi there. Yeah it's been hard but I'm feeling better now, thanks."

Alcohol "Wow, that's great that you feel good. Oh, do you remeber that time your old man died and it destroyed the soul of you and your family watching him suffer?" 

Me "Well, yeah of course I remember. Why do you ask?"

Alcohol "You felt terrible and scared and I was the only one who was there for you. I was your only friend and I helped you through. Don't forget that"

Me "Well, to tell the truth. Now you've brought it up again, I feel kinda low now."

Alcohol "I can help you with that. Come with me old friend" 

END SCENE

That's what alcohol does. It keeps all of our emotion baggage filed deep within its evil hard drive ready to bring any old problem out again to drag you back to depths of despair and for it to get its evil arms wrapped around us. Not only does it rememeber past traumas to use against us, it's there when new problems arise trying to convince us that it can "help" us again. Don't be fooled by these lies. You are in charge of dealing with your negative experiences.

Every time we acheive things such as dealing with loss or heartbreak, challenging times or just plain every day crap, it's us who have done the hard work but alcohol tries to take the credit or, more often than not, it prolongs the pain so we just feel trapped and continue to use alcohol to "deal with it". It's the classic vicious cicle stuff. Break the circle. You have the strenght and abilty. We all do. But we must face our problems head on.

When faced with tough times, attack them head on. Deal with them no matter how much they hurt. You have to go down to come back up again and that's the smart, healthy thing to do. Every time we put off doing so, it just moves the problem out of our views. But they're still there waiting for you to either put it off again or face it. I'm not trying to be holier than thou here, I've been there and put things off and off until I bottomed out and not only had to face up to my alcohol dependancy but also past events, so I'm not perfect or above reproach. 

Alcohol is like that annoying sibling that ties what you want to a piece of string and keeps yanking out of your grasp everytime you get close to grabbing hold of it. It doesn't want you to get healthy. Whether that's from an alcohol point of view or mental health perspective. It just wants you to keep kicking the can down the road. 

Don't give it what it wants. All the strength and courage comes from you and you have that power. Sobreity gives us all that power. It's not easy but I promise you it is most definetely worth it. 

Phil.