Sobriety top tips

Build your sober toolkit – tips for successful sobriety

So, you have seen the light and accepted that alcohol is taking more from your life than it gives?  It is time to give booze the old heave ho!  Brilliant, a life of sobriety awaits and I promise you it is so much better than you can imagine right now.  It is a big deal and won’t always be easy and as with any new challenge you should go into it prepared.  Equip yourself with the right tools.  Here are my top five tips for sober super-stardom…….

Know your enemy

There is reason your relationship with alcohol became unhealthy.  It is an addictive drug and for the majority of us mere mortals, that means it is only going to end one way - badly!  There are lots of books and podcasts available which both explain the science of alcohol dependence and celebrate people’s experiences of a sober life.  You have a lot of brainwashing from an alcohol obsessed society to undo, so immerse yourself in quit lit and sober positive articles/podcasts.  

Tell people about your decision

Being accountable can give us that extra boost of motivation to succeed.  There is no shame in having a problem with alcohol (I refer back to the science!) and you will find most people supportive of your choice.  Ok, you may not want to take out an ad on the side of a bus just yet, but do share with someone, be proud of your decision.  Join an online sober community, confide in a close friend, tell your family, whatever feels right for you.  It is great to have someone to cheer you on and celebrates successes with.  A counting app is also a great idea, seeing those alcohol-free days clock up is extremely motivational.

Be kind to yourself

Do not underestimate the size of challenge you are taking on.  It is achievable and it is very worthwhile but it will be a series of victories and set-backs.  There will be days when your mood is low, you feel you can’t manage and that everything you touch turns to shit.  That’s what life feels like when you aren’t numb through drink or drugs and I promise it gets easier to deal with.  The key is to be easy on yourself.  You didn’t get out of your PJs? Who cares!  You shouted at the dog? He will forgive you for a cuddle.  You ate five bars of dairy milk? Good work you must have needed it!  Do what you need to get through the day and not have a drink.  Tomorrow is a new day – most things are more manageable after a good night’s sleep.

And if you end up drinking?  Remember you have only failed when you stop trying.  Learn from it, understand what triggered you, how could approach it differently next time?  Most of all, it has happened and you cannot change that.  Move on and don’t dwell on it, you are brilliant and brave but not perfect.

Find something else to do with your time

When you think about it ,we committed a lot of our precious time in the pursuit of booze.   Drinking it, arranging to drink it, recovering from it, talking about drinking, apologising for drunken arguments, and on and on.  You will find you have more time and more energy so do something positive with this.  On becoming alcohol-free some people turn into exercise fanatics, others discover or reconnect with their creative side.  You don’t need to be the next Paula Ratcliffe, David Hockney or Delia Smith but find something you enjoy and that makes you feel good.  Drawing, running, writing, baking, cycling, gardening, walking – whatever your choice, it is great for the soul!

Find your tribe

It is hard to go against the grain of our booze obsessed society and whilst friends and family are supportive, they might not fully understand your choice, or even think you had a problem in the first place.  Connection with others who recognise what a gift sobriety is will help you so much.  You are in a minority but it is by no means a small one, and the number of people embracing a sober life is growing every day.  Whether it is online or in person – you instantly have a huge thing in common with a whole sober community so tap into it and celebrate your choice with others who ‘just get it’.

I hope this helps on your sober journey, anyone going against the boozy norm is a complete and utter sober, badass superhero in my mind.  You have got this!

M xx

By no means an exhaustive list but here are some sober resources you might find helpful….

Books

The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, Catherine Grey

This Naked Mind, Annie Grace

Alcohol Explained, Dr William Porter

Blackout, Sarah Hepola

Drink? Professor David Nutt

The Outrun, Amy Liptrot

The Sober Revolution, Lucy Rocca

Quite Like a Woman, Holly Whitaker

Alcohol Lied to Me, Craig Beck

Podcasts

Love Sober 

Recovery Elevator 

A Sober Girl’s Guide

Club Soda

Unlocking Us (not specifically sober related but Brene Brown is amazing, sober and an expert on vulnerability and courage)

Other resources and communites

Sober Fish – Blogs, facebook and Instagram communities and alcohol free plans at www.soberfish.com

Soberistas – Online community, lots of great blogs, Lucy Rocca, the founder also offers one to one counselling and has written some great books www.soberistas.com 

Be Sober and Quit – Run by Surrey based Simon Chapple; articles, resources, facebook community, alcohol free plans at www.besober.com

Alcohol explained – Dr William Porter’s online community for those who have read the book

Club Soda – mindful drinking resources, community and events at www.joinclubsoda.com

Morning Gloryville – sober and drug free raves and wellbeing events.  Currently offering lots of online events, super fun and a great chance to practice you sober dancing – don some sparkle and let yourself go!!!!!  www.morninggloryville.com

A Royal Hangover, brilliant Prime documentary about the drinking culture in the UK

Sobriety apps - count days, reclaimed time and money

Nomo

Sobertime

I Am Sober